While the Alpha male has long stood as the epitome of desirability and leadership, a new archetype is quietly asserting its presence with an undeniable impact — the Sigma male.
Alpha males may make up 10% of the male population, where do the rest of men fall on the socio-sexual hierarchy? Previously, we would have categorized everyone who wasn’t the leader as the sidekick, but what about the mystery men who rule from the sidelines?
Meet the Sigma male, the elusive and enigmatic character that has the dating world reeling.
Introverted, self-assured, and totally non-conformist, is this lone wolf something to be feared or fawned over?
While alpha males used to be the most desired personality type, there has been a recent surge of interest for the sigma male on social media (and in the modern dating world.)
The man of mystery, these self-reliant males ooze a self-confidence that is taking modern dating by storm. But what does a sigma male mean?
According to the Vox Day socio-sexual hierarchy (created by Theodore Robert Beale), sigma males are “the outsiders who don’t play the social game and manage to win it anyhow.” Instead of emulating the traits of the traditional alpha male archetype, sigma males live life on their own terms and don’t conform to the usual societal structures.
Sigma males are commonly referred to as lone wolves, as they are incredibly self-sufficient and independent, usually going off to do their own thing. While they show high levels of emotional intelligence, they are non-conformist by nature and don’t desire to be the center of attention.
Instead of feeding into the socio-sexual hierarchy, they run the other way. Therefore, while they are incredibly enigmatic and naturally draw attention to themselves, they intentionally place themselves in the loner category — which usually only adds to their allure.
According to the social hierarchy that originates these terms, sigma males are traditionally considered lower than alpha males.
Alphas sit at the top of the scale, followed by beta males, deltas, gammas, omega males, and so on. However, while sigmas technically sit quite low on the scale (due to their outsider status), their social power is not to be underestimated — as it simply works differently.
The traits of a sigma male can actually hold many similarities with alpha males, as they are both incredibly self-sufficient. However, while alphas are naturally invested in the social dominance hierarchy, due to their leadership qualities — sigma males are not compelled to lead in the same way.
This is why sigma men can also be likened to introverted alpha males, as while they possess many of the same qualities, they thrive outside of the traditional hierarchy structure. They don’t seek validation from their peers, preferring to live by their own rules and steering clear of most societal norms.
While many would think these personality traits would leave them outside the competition, the allure of mystery seems to catapult them to the top!
Many men might ask, “How do I know if I’m a Sigma male?”, “Where do I fall on the hierarchy?” or perhaps most importantly, “Is it a good thing if someone calls me a Sigma male?”
Being a sigma male is not considered a bad thing, and has significantly less negative connotations than a gamma male or other archetypes on this hierarchy.
As lone wolves, sigma males operate outside the traditional structure, but that doesn’t mean that they aren’t as ‘good’ as an alpha or beta personality. To better understand the inner workings of a sigma male, it’s important to look at the traits associated with this personality type… and if they add up as a compliment.
As an elusive, mysterious character, it can feel like Sigma males walked from the pages of your favorite romance novel. While a mystery man holds a lot of allure, their innate characteristics can actually put up some barriers when it comes to healthy romantic relationships.
Famous examples of sigma males in modern media include James Bond, Clint Eastwood, Jason Bourne, Han Solo, and of course Keanu Reeves (both as John Wick and in his personal life!)
But as the story goes, while these men might have passionate romantic connections, their desire for solitude can often cut these relationships short (their roles as assassins might also have something to do with it!)
Aside from Hollywood examples, the concept of sigma males characterized by independence, self-sufficiency, and a preference for operating outside traditional social hierarchies, does not inherently preclude the capacity for romantic attachment or emotional intimacy.
Even though they can fall in love, their love for independence can limit their ability to foster deep emotional intimacy. However, this doesn’t mean that they are inherently doomed in romantic relationships, or that you should steer clear of sigma males in the dating world.
Like anyone else, the nature of their romantic engagements and their approach to love is influenced by their personality, life experiences, and compatibility with their chosen partner. The key for Sigma males, as for anyone, is finding a relationship that respects and complements their unique approach to life!
“The Sigma male relationship can thrive with partner or partners who are secure, independent, and can communicate their needs,” Moraya Seeger DeGeare, a licensed marriage and family therapist.
“If their partner pulls away expecting their partner to chase them, it won’t work. This could lead to a lonely relationship for both. The relationship would need someone who loves deep connection but does not need it every day.”
So maybe that mystery man is for you after all!