130 sex questions for couples that get down to business

It’s time to talk about sex. 

If talking about the weather has become your new form of foreplay, we think these sex questions for couples have entered your life at just the right time. 

Well, hold onto your bed sheets, because we're about to spice up your conversation game with questions that'll make your grandma blush and your partner swoon. From important questions about sex drive and consent to spicy questions about your deepest desires, get ready to spark the kind of conversations worth having. 

And that might make you reconsider soundproofing your bedroom…

Is it important to talk about sex with your partner? 

Sex is an important part of romantic relationships, and even though it can sometimes feel like a taboo topic, it isn’t something to shy away from. 

After all, in healthy relationships, every topic should be on the table—with communication a key ingredient to the kind of sex life every couple deserves! By having an open dialogue about your sexual relationship, it’s easier for both partners to express their sexual needs, desires, and boundaries. 

This helps to foster a safe space for exploration, strengthening your emotional intimacy along the way. 

The Paired app makes it easier to spark these conversations, with a huge resource of sex and intimacy questions to explore with your partner. More lighthearted avenues, like our games and quizzes, make talking about sex easier (and more fun!) 

What are the best questions to ask a sex partner?

Talking about sex is a normal part of any healthy relationship, with so many important topics to touch on. 

To facilitate a healthy relationship, several questions are important to ask your partner—such as questions about consent, comfort, and your overall sexual compatibility. 

Aside from the serious stuff, there are also a range of fun questions that you can ask to spice things up or to get your partner in the mood! If you’re looking to spark that conversation, we’ve got the best sex questions for couples to get talking here. 

What are the most answered sex questions in the Paired app? 

The Paired app has a huge wealth of questions around sex and intimacy, designed to spark those all-important conversations between you and your loved one. 

With so many questions to choose from, we’ve rounded up some of your favorites from the app to ask your partner—with so many more in-store with Paired Premium. Or, if you want to kickstart a new chapter in your sex life, our daily guided Journey to Better Sex is a great place to start. 

1. What's been your most memorable kiss with %{partnerName}?

2. Tell %{partnerName} one physical attribute you like about them

3. What about your sex life would you never change?

4. What's your favorite way to receive affection?

5. What do you find sexiest about %{partnerName}: how they smell or the sound of their laugh?

6. What kind of physical intimacy would you like more of?

7. Which type of physical intimacy is %{partnerName} really good at?

8. What's your favorite time of day to be intimate?

9. Phone/video sex: yes or no?

10. What's your favorite part of %{partnerName}'s body?

11. What's something you love about sex with %{partnerName}?

12. Do you prefer listening to music during sex or do you find it distracting?

13. What’s your favorite time of day to have sex?

14. What’s your favorite way to make the bedroom extra cozy before settling into bed together?

15. What does %{partnerName} do that you love the most during sex?

16. If making out doesn’t lead to sex, is it still enjoyable? Why?

17. What's one small gesture or action that turns you on unexpectedly?

18. What do you find sexiest about %{partnerName} during sex: the sounds they make or their facial expressions?

19. What is better than amazing sex?

20. What's the first thing you'd do if you won the lottery?

21. What is your favorite sexual fantasy?

22. What's the sexiest thing that %{partnerName} does in bed?

23. What do you like most that %{partnerName} does in bed?

24. What sexy activity could you do with %{partnerName} for hours?

25. How long should good sex last?

26. Masturbating in front of each other: hot or not? Why?

27. If you could have sex anywhere, where would you choose?

28. How much foreplay do you like before sex?

29. What’s the best thing about your sex life?

30. Has what you enjoy during sex changed since meeting %{partnerName}? How?

What are some important sex questions to ask your partner? 

In a sexual relationship, there are many questions that you should ask your partner to ensure you both feel safe, happy, and comfortable at all times. 

Even if you’re in a long-term relationship, organizing relationship check-ins can help maintain your sexual satisfaction over time. 

1. What were the three best sexual experiences you've ever had? How about the three worst?

2. What role does aftercare play in our sexual experiences, and how can we improve it?

3. Are there any sexual experiences or situations that make you uncomfortable or nervous? What are your boundaries?

4. What’s your biggest sexual turn-off? 

5. Do you like to cuddle after sex, or do you prefer to have some space?

6. What’s the most important part of a sexual relationship? 

7. How important is spontaneity in our sexual relationship versus planned encounters?

8. Do you have any concerns about sexual health that we should discuss?

9. Are there any specific times that make you feel most comfortable or excited for sex?

10. What’s your preferred balance between emotional connection and physical pleasure during sex?

11. How do you feel about the balance of giving and receiving in our sexual relationship?

12. What role does trust play in our sexual experiences, and how can we build it further?

13. Do you have any particular needs or desires around consent and how we check in with each other?

14. How do you feel about experimenting with new things, and how should we approach trying something new?

15. Is there anything from past relationships that has influenced your current sexual preferences or boundaries?

16. What’s your ideal frequency of sex, and how can we ensure we’re both satisfied?

17. How do you feel about discussing our sexual relationship with close friends or in a more public setting?

18. How important is it for you to feel desired, and what actions or words make you feel that way?

19. What does sexual satisfaction look like for you, and how can we work together to achieve it?

20. How do you feel about sex if one person doesn’t climax? 

What are deep questions about sex?

Sometimes you need to go a little deeper. 

Excusing your innuendos, these are some deep questions to ask your partner about your sex life, sparking important conversations around pleasure and satisfaction. 

1. How has your sex life changed throughout the years?

2. Tell me about your first time. Was it what you had imagined?

3. Do you remember the first time you felt aroused?

4. What do you think is the best way to keep the honeymoon phase alive in the bedroom? 

5. In what ways has your body image affected your sexual confidence?

6. How do you think sexual compatibility impacts the overall health of a relationship?

7. Have you ever felt pressure to conform to certain sexual norms or expectations?

8. How do you define sexual empowerment, and do you feel empowered in our sexual relationship?

9. In your opinion, what's the difference between sex and making love?

10. What’s the best thing about sex in a new relationship? 

11. How do you think our sexual relationship reflects our emotional connection?

12. How important is emotional intimacy in enhancing sexual pleasure for you?

13. What would be the best way to handle differing sex drives/libidos in a relationship? 

14. How do you feel about ethical non-monogamy? 

15. What do you believe is the most important aspect of sexual maturity?

What are some fun questions about sex for couples?

Sex is fun!

It doesn’t always need to be a serious conversation! Introducing a lightness and excitement to your conversations can make it easier to express your desires, crafting that safe space for you both to be open with one another. 

Get a little silly with it, encouraging you both to come out of your shell and say what you want from your sexual relationship. 

1. What are your thoughts on one-night stands?

2. What is an instant turn-on for you? 

3. What’s your biggest turn-on? 

4. Morning sex or evening sex? 

5. What’s your favorite place to be kissed?

6. When was the first time that you felt attracted to me sexually?

7. Can you describe the best sexual experience you’ve had?

8. Have you ever had a sexual experience that still turns you on when you think about it?

9. What’s your favorite thing about sex? 

10. Do you have a sex playlist? 

11. What’s your favorite position for morning sex? 

12. Where’s your favorite place to be touched?

13. What are good questions to ask a girl on the first date? 

14. Thoughts about sexting? 

15. Describe your favorite sexual experience we’ve had together. Spare no details. 

16. What’s the most unusual place you’ve ever had sex?

17. If you could plan the perfect romantic night, what would it include?

18. What’s a sexual skill or technique you’re proud of?

19. What’s a role-play scenario you’ve always wanted to try?

20. What’s your favorite way for me to initiate sex?

What are some spicy sexual questions to ask? 

Every couple wants to spice things up from time to time! 

Spicing things up can look very different from couple to couple, so use these questions to open up the conversation and dive deeper into your partner’s wants and desires. 

1. Do you have any sex toys?

2. Which do you like more—sending dirty texts, or dirty talk in person? 

3. Would you rather role-play as strangers meeting for the "first time" again or pretend we're long-lost lovers reuniting?

4. What is your favorite sex position?

5. Would you rather try a new sex position or a new sex toy?

6. Have you ever had a threesome?

7. Would you rather wear provocative lingerie or nothing at all under your clothes for a date night?

8. Do you have any kinks you’ve never told me about? 

9. Do you have a sexual fetish? If so, what is it?

10. How do you feel about anal play? 

11. Have you ever had multiple sexual partners in the space of 24 hours?

12. How would you describe your sexual desires? Kinky or more vanilla?

13. While making love, would you rather be blindfolded or handcuffed?

14. Do you prefer me to be naked or in lingerie?

15. Would you rather spend a day sexting or have an hour of uninterrupted phone sex?

What are some sexy questions to get your partner in the mood? 

Talking about sex can be a very good kind of foreplay… 

When you’re in the mood and want to see if your partner is too, these questions are a great way to open a sexual conversation and see where things go from there!

1. When was the last time you had a sex dream?

2. What’s a turn-on you’ve never shared with me? 

3. Would you rather play a dirty question game or act out a naughty fantasy? 

4. What are your thoughts on dirty talk? 

5. Do you like to put on music when making love?

6. What do you think about a quickie? 

7. What’s the kinkiest thing you can think of? 

8. If you could have me right now, where would you want it to happen?

9. What’s one piece of clothing you’d love to see me take off first?

10. How would you feel about trying something spontaneous tonight?

11. What’s the most seductive thing I could do for you right now?

12. Is there a particular scent or perfume that turns you on?

13. What do you think about the idea of teasing each other all day before we finally get together?

14. How do you feel about starting things off with a sensual massage?

15. What would you like me to whisper in your ear while we’re in bed?

16. What’s the sexiest fantasy you’ve ever had about me?

17. How do you feel about experimenting with new positions tonight?

18. What’s the most adventurous place you’d want to make love?

19. How would you like to be touched right now?

20. What’s one naughty thought you had today that you couldn’t stop thinking about?

21. Would you like to take things slow and sensual tonight, or do you prefer something more intense?

22. What’s the one thing I do that drives you wild every time?

23. Do you want to explore any new fantasies together?

24. If we were alone right now, what’s the first thing you’d want to do to me?

25. How do you feel about starting things off in the shower?

26. What’s one way you’d love for me to surprise you in bed?

27. Do you like it when I take control, or do you prefer to lead?

28. What would you say if I asked you to describe your favorite kind of foreplay?

29. How do you feel about us getting a little adventurous with some light bondage or restraints?

30. What’s the most seductive outfit I could wear for you tonight?