Survey of 6,000 parents highlights the impact of parenting on romantic relationships

Let’s face it. Parenting is tough on romantic relationships. 

We surveyed over 6,000 parents, with the help of licensed marriage and family therapist Moraya Seeger DeGeare, on the impact of parenting on their romantic relationships, with their biggest stressors, struggles, and solutions revealed. 

When you become a parent, it can feel like your love life has to take a backseat as you dedicate all your time and energy to your children. However, taking the time to nurture your romantic and intimate connection is key to long-term success. 

Our survey revealed the importance of daily connection and communication for parenting couples, with the Paired app providing that vital ‘parent-only’ time that every couple craves.  

Only 36% believe parenting had a positive impact on their relationship

Finding the person that you want to start a family with is such a special moment, and those early conversations about potential parenthood can be truly magical. 

“How many kids would you like to have?” “Do you want a big family?” “I think you’d make a wonderful mother!” 

These conversations are huge for any couple, with 76% of parents who are planning on getting pregnant being the most satisfied with their relationship. 

However, with the actual pressures of parenthood on their shoulders, only 36% believe that parenting had a positive impact on their relationship. 

What are the biggest stressors for parents? 

We all know that parenting is tough, but with everything that new parenthood throws at couples, what are they struggling with the most? 

Our survey revealed that 55% of parents mentioned a lack of parent-only time as a significant cause of relationship dissatisfaction. 

Mental health was also a huge stressor for parents, with a further 20% believing that it was the most difficult thing to discuss in their relationship. 

Parents of toddlers are struggling the most in their relationships

Ah, the terrible twos… and threes… and hopefully not the fours. 

Toddlers can be tough work, with tantrums and potty training often getting in the way of romance. These tricky years have the biggest impact on relationship satisfaction, with 39% of toddler parents dissatisfied with their romantic relationships. 

Amongst all the noise, these parents particularly struggle to find alone time for both physical and emotional intimacy—with their mental health and well-being suffering as a result. 

30% of parents felt negatively about themselves as a romantic partner

With so much pressure on parents' shoulders, 30% felt they were failing at juggling parenthood, passion, and other priorities. Overall, moms are more negative than dads about how they have changed as romantic partners since becoming parents. 

"One of the most challenging aspects of parenting is balancing the joy of growing a family with the person you love and missing the quality time you once had together,” says Seeger DeGeare.

This negative attitude is primarily self-directed, as while they might feel negatively about how they’ve been as a partner, 53% believe their partner has improved or stayed the same. 

Parents with more support from friends, family, and childcare are happier in their relationships vs. those with less support (79% vs. 51%)

It truly takes a village. 

Survey respondents specifically mentioned a ‘need for support’ in balancing parenting with their romantic relationships, as they feel they can’t do it alone. 

Parents who feel unsupported are 65% more likely to report communication issues with their partners, underscoring the role of support in fostering open and effective communication.

85% of couples who connected daily are the most satisfied in their romantic relationships 

Connection is key. 

When it comes to staying united as a couple in the face of all the changes and challenges of parenting, communication is truly everything.

As a society, we put so much emphasis on falling in love, but little on the skills required to stay in it. After the rush of falling in love fades and couples enter the more committed stage, especially as parents, even the most dedicated couples will inevitably face challenges.


Our vision is a world where every couple can stay in love long-term—with the Paired app being there every step to help couples along their relationship journey. 

Paired creates a fun, safe space for couples already in love to explore their relationship, get to know one another in new ways, and ultimately get even closer. With daily expert-backed conversation starters and advice, couples can foster healthy communication—building the key relationship skills essential to emotional connection. 

How can parents stay connected in their romantic relationships? 

1. Strengthen your bond with the Paired app 

If you’re struggling to keep that spark alive, you don’t have to do it alone! 

Our survey revealed the need for ‘parent-only time,’ and the Paired app gives all couples that chaos-free space for kid-free connection. 

“It’s a critical tool for intimate connection beyond the chaos of parenting,” says Laura Caruso, licensed therapist and relationship expert. 

“The Paired app features expert-designed questions, quizzes, and games that prompt meaningful conversations essential for strengthening your connection. It's perfect for date night, or it's available anytime you and your partner find a moment to connect as a couple, not just as parents.”

2. Embrace regular relationship check-ins and quality time

Amidst the hustle of parenting, your romantic relationship is often the first thing to be de-prioritized, leading to frustration and resentment. 

“You might now be parents, but you were a couple first—don’t lose sight of that,” says Caruso. 

Keep the romance alive by integrating monthly relationship check-ins, or use Paired for daily conversation starters to foster quality time that naturally strengthens connection. 

3. Maintain individuality and set goals 

Parenting may be a full-time job, but it doesn’t have to define you as a couple (or as individuals). 

While you might be a mom or a dad, ask yourself what really makes you, “you”? Or, what makes you and your partner “us”?

“Preserve your identities, both individual and shared, beyond parenting by pursuing personal interests and setting collective goals,” says Caruso.  

“The balance not only enriches your personal growth but strengthens your relationship by aligning your aspirations and celebrating each other’s successes.”