20 early signs you’ve met the one
Modern dating has made many former romantics into cynics, with the concept of ‘soulmates’ or destiny often subjected to ridicule.
That is… Until it happens to you.
If you’ve instantly connected with someone new, it’s easy to wonder whether it’s just a passing encounter or if this could be the real deal. While it can take a while to assess if someone is in it for the long run, there are some early signs you’ve met the one that can guide you on your journey.
Curious to find out?
How do you know when you have met the one?
The first date went incredibly well, so did the second one, and so did the third. With so much promise, one can’t help their mind jumping to the fairytale ending.
Meeting someone new and finding that connection can be electric, with those butterflies spurring on thoughts that you may have found your ideal partner. It might sound cliche, and it may not be something you’re willing to admit out loud quite yet, but seeing a potential life partner in someone you’re dating is a big deal.
“If you’re pausing to wonder if the search might be over, you’re probably on the right track,” says Laura Caruso, licensed therapist and relationship expert.
“While there’s no one-size-fits-all approach to determining when you’ve met “the one,” there are a few early signs that you can look for. Recognizing these signs can help you understand whether the person you’re with might just be the right one for you. These indicators can predict a profound partnership based on mutual support, respect, and love.”
For many people, these thoughts might arise much later on in a long-term relationship, as you slowly settle into the idea of a future together. However, spotting some early signs and indicators that this could be “the one” can set you on a clear path and make you feel secure that you’re not wasting your time.
How soon can you know if they're the one?
When it comes to love, there is no concrete timeline or step-by-step process to follow.
“Understanding if someone is “the one” is less about a specific timeframe and more about the quality of the connection and the growth you experience together,” says Caruso.
“It’s a combination of gut feeling, rational observation, and a mutual desire to commit to each other’s happiness.”
Some couples claim that it was love at first sight, or that they knew they would be together forever from that first date. On the other hand, others might sheepishly admit that it took them some time (and hard work!) until they realized this person was the one for them.
“Every relationship is different. There isn’t a universal timeline for certainty because the depth and pace of emotional connections differ for a variety of reasons, including personal history, emotional readiness, and the specific dynamics of each relationship,” says Caruso.
“Some people report feeling a strong, almost immediate connection with their partner that feels different from other relationships. This can sometimes occur within weeks or even days, but it’s important to distinguish between infatuation and a deeper bond.”
Lots of couples can experience that early infatuation, where it’s all amazing sex and deep conversations. Until one day, it just fizzles out. In these cases, you might have been swept away with thoughts that this was your soulmate, only for time to take its toll on these ideals.
However, when it’s really your ‘true love’, it’s more about mutual respect, trust, and compatibility—rather than a flash of lust or attraction.
“For most, recognizing “the one” requires time and consistent interaction,” says Caruso.
“It’s about seeing each other in various situations and understanding each other’s reactions under stress, joy, and everyday routines. This might take several months or even years as you experience life together and grow as a couple.”
It’s not about analyzing and overanalyzing whether this is your person, but letting your relationship grow organically.
“My best advice? Take your time,” says Caruso.
“Don’t rush into labeling someone as “the one.” Allow your relationship to grow naturally. Discuss your feelings, expectations, and fears with your partner. This can help clarify your feelings and strengthen your connection.”
What are the early signs you've met the one?
Easy conversation: “You find conversations flow naturally, and you can talk about anything and everything,” says Caruso. “There’s an ease in your interactions that makes you feel comfortable and understood.”
Chemistry: When you think you’ve met your person, there’s an undeniable chemistry between you. This goes beyond just attraction, indicating your overall compatibility.
Values: “Your core beliefs and life goals align well,” says Caruso. “Whether it’s family, career, or personal growth, you both have similar ideas about what’s important and what you want for the future.”
Respect: “There’s a deep-seated respect for each other’s opinions, desires, and boundaries,” says Caruso. “This respect is foundational for any lasting relationship and is a strong indicator of healthy long-term potential.”
Physical attraction: “You share a strong physical attraction and emotional intimacy,” says Caruso. “You feel a unique connection that goes beyond surface-level interactions, touching deeper emotional and physical chords.”
Sexual intimacy: While there is a lot of conversation around love and lust if you’ve found the right person, your sex life is pretty incredible! Even though this isn’t the only indicator, it’s usually a pretty good sign!
On the same page:
Support: They make you want to be your best self and while you’re around them, you’re compelled to be that best version of yourself. “You inspire each other to be better people,” says Caruso. “There’s a mutual desire to support and help each other grow in all aspects of life, which strengthens the bond.”
Safety: “They make you feel safe and loved like you can truly be yourself,” says Caruso. “There’s a sense of belonging and ease when you are with them, often described as feeling like “home.”
Little things: When you think you’ve found your soulmate, it’s usually all the little things that add up to an overall feeling that this is “the one”. Falling in love with someone means spending time with them, learning everything about them, and loving them for all the little things—including their flaws.
Slot into each other's lives: When you’ve found the right person, it feels like they fit into your life like they’ve always been there. Introducing them to your friends and family feels natural, easy, and comfortable—and vice versa.
Effort: “Both of you make consistent efforts to nurture the relationship, communicate effectively, and resolve conflicts healthily,” says Caruso. “This indicates a commitment to the longevity of the relationship.”
Doesn’t feel like effort: Even though you’re both putting in effort, it doesn’t feel like you’re making a huge effort. Things feel natural and easy, with a healthy relationship building without you having to focus on it.
Social circle: “You are introduced to each other’s friends, families, and important aspects of each other’s lives,” says Caruso. “This inclusion is a sign of seriousness and a desire to integrate your lives.”
Comfortable: When you’ve found your ideal person, you feel totally comfortable to be your true self around them. This is a great sign it’s the real thing, as you’re willing to be vulnerable and authentic around this person—indicating you can do so for the rest of your life.
Healthy communication: As well as being able to have natural chit-chat, you can also get into the deep stuff. This also means having more difficult conversations, and not shying away from this side of the relationship.
Security: “You trust them implicitly, and there’s a mutual sense of security,” says Caruso. “You don’t feel anxious about the stability of your relationship, and you both work to maintain that trust.”
Previous relationships: When you’ve found the right person, your past relationships do not define you moving forward. While you can discuss your past comfortably, you’re more concerned with your future plans together than anything else.
Healthy conflict resolution: “When disagreements arise, you handle them constructively,” says Caruso. “You communicate openly and work through issues without demeaning each other, which strengthens the relationship.”
Emotional independence: Your partner may feel like your best friend, but if you’re building a healthy relationship, it doesn’t lapse into codependence. While it’s nice to feel like you can lean on your partner, you still retain your own independence and goals outside of the relationship.
Frequently Asked Questions
Do guys know when they've met the one?
Men are often criticized for their commitment skills, and constantly questioned about when and with who they finally settle down. “There’s a loose theory popularized by social media that claims men only settle down when they’re ready, regardless of who they are with at the time,” says Caruso. “While timing and personal readiness are significant, they are just two pieces of a complex puzzle consisting of emotional maturity, societal roles, and personal and mutual compatibility, all of which influence someone’s decision to settle down.” At the end of the day, men are just like anyone else, when they find a good relationship—this should be the indicator they follow. “When it comes down to it, I’d say a man’s sense of self and level of emotional maturity determine whether or not they can recognize the one,” says Caruso.
