130 this or that questions for couples to talk it out

Roses are red, violets are blue, would you rather have a date night once a week or two? 

If you’re looking to spice up your next date night conversation, this list of this or that questions for couples will provide you with endless inspiration. From spicy decisions to deeper life questions, this game is Would You Rather’s fun cousin—with this question game opening up a whole new side to your relationship. 

So where will you start? Dive into the sexy stuff or explore some of our funny would you rather options for a game of this or that that you won’t forget in a hurry. 

Can playing talking games help your relationship? 

Playing talking games with your partner is not only a fun way to spend a date night, but it’s also a great way to dive into topics you might not have thought of. 

Everyone thinks that they know everything about their significant other, but the truth is… there’s always more to learn. It’s often the deep questions hidden amongst games or relationship quizzes that reveal the most about your partner—even if it starts with learning their favorite ice cream flavor!

The Paired app is full of these conversation starters, creating a fun, safe space for couples already in love to explore their relationship, get to know one another in new ways, and ultimately get even closer. With daily expert-backed conversation starters and advice, couples can foster healthy communication—building the key relationship skills essential to emotional connection. 

So the short answer… Yes. Fun questions might seem lighthearted at first, but even a simple game of ‘this or that?’ can help you realize if this is the person you want to spend the rest of your life with! 

What are ‘this or that’ questions to ask a partner?

For your next date night, get yourself settled with a few of our best this or that questions… You never know what you might find out! 

Popular ‘this or that?’ questions from the Paired app

1. Which do you find hotter to use during sex: each other’s first names or naughty nicknames? 

2. Your partner wants you to do something to them. Would you rather be asked or be told? 

3. What would make you feel sexiest: a compliment about how your body looks or how your body feels?

4. Do you prefer receiving compliments in public or private? 

5. Would you prefer compliments on your appearance or your achievements? 

6. Does your partner prefer giving or receiving oral sex? 

7. Would you rather always do the vacuuming or the dusting? 

8. Is your partner more likely to think of oral as foreplay or as the main event? 

9. Would your partner prefer edible lube or no lube? 

10. Morning brunch with your partner or an evening dinner party? 

This or that questions spicy

1. Would you rather have slow passionate sex or a quickie?

2. Sending a sext or a sexy photo? 

3. Roleplay or more foreplay? 

4. Shower with your celebrity crush or your high school crush? 

5. Play a game of dirty truth or dare or dirty would you rather? 

6. Blindfold or handcuffs?

7. Morning sex or a late-night rendezvous?

8. Massage with oils or bubble bath together?

9. Steamy make-out session in public or private strip tease?

10. Experimenting with new positions or mastering your favorite?

11. Sensual food play (think cream or chocolate!) or erotic dancing?

12. Outdoor adventure or indoor luxury for a make-out sesh?

13. Surprise intimate gift or planned romantic evening?

14. Dirty talk or silent seduction?

15. Spontaneous quickie or planned sex marathon? 

16. Lingerie shopping together or adult store exploration?

17. Watching an erotic film together or creating your own spicy home video?

18. Tantric sex workshop or couples' boudoir photoshoot?

19. Erotic story writing or intimate painting session?

20. Intimate truth-telling game or a sensual massage lesson?

This or that questions for couples' flirty 

1. Surprise date night planned by me or a surprise planned by you? 

2. Would you rather stay in for every date night or go out every date night? 

3. Would you rather go on 100 first dates or have to spend forever with your next date? 

4. Would you kiss on the first date or wait to kiss for a month? 

5. Romantic candlelit dinner or fun picnic in the park?

6. Flirty text messages or playful in-person banter?

7. Slow dance or energetic dance-off?

8. Surprise gift or surprise experience?

9. Holding hands in public or stealing kisses when no one's looking?

10. Playful tickle fight or competitive game night?

11. Cooking a meal together or taking a dance class?

12. Leaving love notes or sending surprise flowers to work?

13. Matching couple outfits or subtly coordinated accessories?

14. Spontaneous weekend getaway or planned staycation?

15. Flirty social media posts or private photo exchanges?

16. Couple's karaoke night or tandem bike ride?

17. Feed each other dessert or have a playful food fight?

18. Surprise wake-up kisses or goodnight massages?

19. Couples' photoshoot or creating a relationship time capsule?

20. Recreating your first flirty encounter or planning a future dream date?

Romantic this or that couple questions 

1. Love letters or sweet text messages? 

2. Would you rather send each other flirty text messages all day or leave little surprise love notes around the house?

3. Cook a fancy meal together or order takeout? 

4. Surprised with flowers or takeout? 

5. Find your soulmate or your best friend? 

6. Stargazing date or sunrise watching?

7. Couple's massage or couple's cooking class?

8. Recreate your first date or plan a dream future date?

9. Write a song for each other or create a photo album of memories.

10. Romantic movie marathon or reading love poems to each other?

11. Candlelit bath or fireside cuddling?

12. Slow dancing in the living room or waltz lessons?

13. Surprise breakfast in bed or midnight snack picnic?

14. A handmade anniversary gift or a fancy gift? 

15. Romantic scavenger hunt or surprise weekend trip?

16. Write love letters to open in the future or create a relationship bucket list?

17. Plant a tree together or adopt a pet together?

18. Couple's art class or couple's wine tasting?

19. Create a playlist of your love story or write your love story as a short story?

20. Renew your vows in private or throw a big anniversary party?

Fun this or that relationship questions 

1. Beach holiday or city break? 

2. Would you rather give up your favorite food or your favorite TV show? 

3. Karaoke night or dance party at home? 

4. Board games or video games? 

5. Museum date or amusement park visit? 

6. Romantic road trip or spontaneous getaway? 

7. Couples' costume party or elegant masquerade ball?

8. Learn a new language together or take up a new sport as a couple?

9. Host a dinner party or attend a live concert?

10. Couples' escape room challenge or tandem skydiving adventure?

11. Backyard camping or luxury glamping?

12. DIY home improvement project or furniture shopping spree?

13. Couple's fitness challenge or relaxing spa day?

14. Themed movie marathon or binge-watching a new TV series?

15. Attend a comedy show or participate in an improv class?

16. Join a couples' book club or start a two-person band?

17. Take a mixology class or have a home bartending competition?

18. Go on a local food tour or try an exotic cuisine cooking class?

19. Couples' pottery workshop or joint painting session?

20. Plan a surprise party for each other or organize a couples' game night with friends?

Funny this or that for couples 

1. Start synchronized snoring or synchronized sneezing? 

2. Sneeze every time you orgasm or orgasm every time you sneeze? 

3. Always speak in rhymes or always sing instead of speaking?

4. Have a personal laugh track or a personal theme song that plays when you enter a room?

5. Switch accents every hour or switch personalities every day?

6. Are we able to read each other's minds, but only when thinking about food or chores?

7. Have matching ridiculous tattoos or matching embarrassing haircuts?

8. Always wear couple's costumes or always speak in unison?

9. Communicate only through interpretive dance or only through charades?

10. Have a pet that constantly judges your relationship or a plant that gives unsolicited relationship advice?

11. Only be able to whisper or only be able to shout?

12. Have to always enter rooms doing cartwheels or always exit doing the moonwalk?

13. Have a choir follow you around narrating your life or a mime imitating your every move?

14. Always have to wear inflatable sumo suits or always walk as if on a tightrope?

15. Laugh uncontrollably every time you hear your partner's name or cry dramatically every time you see them?

16. Have to communicate with your partner only through puns or only through movie quotes?

17. Switch bodies with your partner every other day or switch voices permanently?

18. Have a mariachi band play during all your arguments or have a fog machine activate during romantic moments?

19. Be able to teleport but only to embarrassing locations or fly but only an inch off the ground?

20. Have a relationship where you can only eat food that starts with the first letter of your partner's name or where you can only wear clothes in your partner's least favorite color? 

Deep this or that questions for couples

1. Would you rather have ten close friends or one best friend? 

2. Never speak to your ex again or become good friends?

3. Meet for the first time again or see where we are a year from now? 

4. Would you rather find your dream job or your dream relationship? 

5. Change one thing about your past or know one thing about your future?

6. Have the ability to read minds or the power to heal any illness?

7. Live a short, extraordinary life or a long, ordinary one?

8. Be remembered for your kindness or your achievements?

9. Discover the truth about everything in the universe or live in blissful ignorance?

10. Sacrifice your passion for stability or risk everything for your dreams?

11. Have the power to change someone's mind or the ability to perfectly empathize with anyone?

12. Live in a world with no problems but no joy, or a world with both challenges and happiness?

13. Know the date of your death or the cause of your death?

14. Be able to relive your past or see into your future?

15. Have a rewind button for your life or a pause button?

16. Be famous for something you're proud of or infamous for something you're ashamed of?

17. Experience every human emotion intensely or feel complete emotional neutrality?

18. Have the ability to speak every language or play every musical instrument?

19. Lose all the photos you've ever taken or all the memories associated with them?

20. Live your current life over again with all your memories intact or start a completely new life?