Bye Bye Bad Boys: What is a Beta Male?
Bad boys are out, nice guys are in.
That’s right, we’re witnessing the rise of the beta male. No longer the sidekick, the second option, or the shoulder to cry on, this male personality type is getting swiped right more than ever before.
So, what is a beta male? And why is he replacing the archetypal alpha as the ultimate dream boy? We dive into this switch in priorities, and why you might want a beta male on your arm in the future.
What does it mean to be a beta male?
Beta males are considered the ‘number two’ in the socio-sexual hierarchy, flying under the radar in comparison to their louder, bolder, and badder alpha male counterparts. Seen as the nice guy, they notoriously (and perhaps ironically) land themselves in the friend zone.
They might not be good at chat-up lines or schmoozing, but they’re naturally more emotionally intelligent, compassionate, and caring. The characteristics of a beta male might not be as flashy, but in the long run, they’re incredibly valuable in a partner.
“Beta males, unlike alpha males, are known for their empathy, sensitivity, and emotional intelligence,” says Caruso.
“They may be more attuned to others’ feelings and emotions, showing compassion and understanding in their interactions. Beta males redefine masculinity by emphasizing qualities such as emotional resilience, nurturing behavior, and collaborative spirit. They challenge traditional stereotypes by valuing emotional expression and vulnerability.”
Alongside their emotional attributes, beta males tend to migrate towards more collaborative roles. Instead of solo sports, they’re all about being a team player, which usually means they’re portrayed as the sidekick to the alpha male.
“Unlike alpha males who may assert dominance and seek leadership roles, beta males tend to prioritize cooperation and collaboration,” says Caruso.
“They value teamwork and may prefer to work alongside others rather than compete for dominance.”
What is the difference between alpha and beta masculinity?
While alpha males are founded on assertiveness, self-confidence, and (perhaps contentiously) toxic masculinity, beta males do not project this kind of male behavior.
Alpha males are the stereotypical bad boys, the heartthrobs of the 90’s and 00’s, the captain of the football team, and the it-boys in the gym. (For visual references, look up the cast of Love Island internationally…)
Beta males are not nearly as loud or in your face, and with their nice guy stereotype have often been overlooked by the dating community. Even though it’s probably never practically made sense, everyone loves a bad boy. We also are commonly accused of calling the nice guys “too nice”.
“Alpha males are characterized as socially confident, assertive, and comfortable taking charge of situations, which often positions them as the center of attention,” says Caruso.
“Beta males, conversely, may exhibit more modesty and humility in social interactions. They may not seek the spotlight and might feel more comfortable in supportive or behind-the-scenes roles. They prioritize genuine connections over social validation.”
While not quite the introverts or lone wolves of the sigma or omega male, they prefer to stay within their comfort zone and are usually content with their role in the social hierarchy. However, the term beta doesn’t sit well with everyone, with some males rebelling against their status as the sidekick.
Can a beta male become an alpha male?
The question emerges, can a beta male become an alpha male, and if so, how?
“The concept of transitioning personality types is complex and heavily debated,” says Caruso.
“Some believe personality traits associated with alpha and beta males are not fixed and can evolve. A beta male may develop assertiveness, confidence, and leadership skills through personal growth, experience, and self-development efforts.”
Therefore, since this social structure is projected, anyone can break that restrictive mode and emulate their desired characteristics. It’s not as simple as just becoming more assertive, or suddenly becoming the loudest guy in the room — it’s about ignoring the stereotypes that befit these roles altogether.
“Critics argue that the alpha-beta dichotomy oversimplifies human behavior and reinforces stereotypical gender roles. They suggest that individuals can exhibit a range of traits and behaviors without fitting neatly into one category,” explains Caruso.
“It’s essential to recognize that personality traits exist on a spectrum, and individuals may display a combination of alpha and beta traits depending on the situation. Emphasizing personal authenticity and self-acceptance may be more beneficial than conforming to societal expectations of alpha or beta behavior.”
Not to use the cliche phraseology of ‘you can be whoever you want to be’, but rebelling against the strict categorization of male traits in your own way is totally allowed!
How does a beta male behave in relationships?
Beta males are famously lauded as great partners, with their loyal, attentive yet go-with-the-flow nature serving as great pillars for a healthy romantic relationship. Known as the ‘nice guy’, beta males often struggle with the simp stereotype — or end up in the friend zone!
Although considered ‘beneath’ alpha males, beta males have a plethora of positive attributes that make them great romantic partners.
“Overall, beta males contribute to relationships with their compassionate, nurturing, and emotionally intelligent approach,” says Caruso.
“They prioritize mutual respect, communication, and emotional connection, fostering a partnership built on understanding, support, and shared growth.”
Beta men may not rank at the top of the hierarchy, but they’re pretty happy to put their partners up on a pedestal… This perhaps explains why the rise of the beta male has been a long time coming.
What are beta male characteristics?
Non-confrontational: Unlike their alpha male counterparts, betas do not enjoy confrontation or employ it to get what they want. They aren’t competitive and don’t seek the same kind of validation as alphas.
Kind: With their nice guy stereotype, it’s perhaps no surprise that betas are known to be kind, compassionate, and friendly. This kindness is often mistaken for the desire for a platonic relationship, which is why they can sometimes end up in the friend zone!
Loyal: Beta males are known to be loyal partners, friends, and yes, sometimes sidekicks! Unlike the delta male, betas aren’t viewed as just a ‘normal guy’ but as a significant friend and ally.
Comfortable with emotional intimacy: Like gamma males, betas are incredibly emotionally intelligent. They make great partners as they are willing to be vulnerable to go deeper with their loved ones! They don’t shy away from honest communication and can more easily understand the need for compromise to sustain a healthy relationship.
Non-leadership role: Similar to a sigma male, betas aren’t interested in taking the helm of the ship but can lead in other ways. For a beta male, they are very capable of stepping up and supporting their teammates when needed.
Submissive role: Since they don’t need to lead to tend to their self-esteem, they are happy to take a back seat when necessary. They don’t feel the need to be the protector or provider, often leading to a more reciprocal relationship.
Note: These social hierarchies are often considered an outdated categorization of male personality types. Remember to use them as a helpful analysis of certain male traits, rather than as an exact science of human behavior.
