20 Pieces of Advice for Newlyweds, According to the Experts
Welcome to the beginning of your forever!
Being newlyweds is an exciting journey, filled with love, growth, and learning. As you embark on this journey together, it’s natural to seek marriage advice from your support network, as you try to nurture your relationship and ensure a lasting, happy future.
With the help of licensed marriage and family therapist Moraya Seeger DeGeare, we delve into essential advice for newlyweds, offering practical tips and wisdom to help you build a strong foundation for your marriage.
Whether you’re looking for ways to strengthen your bond, navigate life's challenges, or simply celebrate the joy of being together, our expert insights are sure to help you along the way!
Why is marriage advice important?
When you’re in love with someone, it’s often easy to believe that you have the perfect relationship and that you don’t need any advice or outside interference. Even though the safety of your love bubble is sweet, everyone can benefit from a helping hand along the way — especially when it comes to a lifelong commitment!
“Listening to the advice that fits your situation can help you navigate many challenging and disconnecting moments with your partner,” says Moraya Seeger DeGeare, a licensed marriage and family therapist.
“In tough times, you can lean on the wisdom of those who can support you in navigating the ups and downs of relationships. Perhaps they remind you to slow down, listen, and try other ways of responding that might bring you and your partner closer together.”
When you’re going through hard times, sometimes all you need is some outside support and perspective to guide you along the way. Whoever you reach out to, whether it’s your best friend or a trusted in-law, might try and pass on some advice that helped them when they were going through a similar situation. (Or they might just let you have the rant you need to get it out of your system!)
What is good advice for a newly married couple?
The best marriage advice or marriage tips usually come from those who have been around the block per se — whether having a happy marriage themselves or who are passing down relationship advice that they’ve been given over the years!
If you’re seeking marriage advice, it’s often the small things that stay with you and help you keep the spark alive for the rest of your life (no pressure!)
Therefore, when you’re embarking on the first year of marriage, gathering advice from your loved ones can be helpful! This can help prepare you for the next chapter in your journey, and can even help set realistic expectations to create a healthy marriage.
While everyone will say there is one piece of great marriage advice that made such a difference to their married life, this is completely personal to each couple. With this in mind, we wanted to gather as much advice for a strong marriage as possible to get you started!
20 pieces of advice for newlyweds, according to the experts
When you’re setting out to create a successful marriage, it’s important to set aside time to focus on your future together. With this in mind, a little bit of relationship advice is a great place to start!
So, we let Moraya Seeger DeGeare take the reigns, and compile the best pieces of marriage advice to maintain a healthy relationship with your partner. From the little things to the essentials, these words of wisdom will get you by!
Talk about your bigger long-term goals and embrace that while the reality might look different — knowing you’re on the same page is key.
Get clear on your hard boundaries in your marriage. What are your non-negotiables? Is there anything you’re not willing to compromise on?
Be okay with change, but also know you need to understand that your partner might not appreciate every change. This is normal, and be respectful of their adjustment process.
Talk about addiction and addiction history early.
Talk about attachment trauma and times you felt deeply lonely and how you handled it. This can open up the conversation around attachment styles, lending learnings to the relationship from the outset.
Have a plan for how you want to navigate misunderstandings, they will happen, and expecting your partner to know how to respond might not be the best to cover in the moment.
Dedicate time for yourself each week. This preference for self-care might seem separate from the relationship, but will benefit every aspect of your life.
Therapy and couples therapy are not just for when you are in crisis, you can go just to sort things out or for healthy self-care! Doing a few sessions when things are not in crisis can make it less scary when you do want more support.
Talk to people you trust, and don’t let the shame of going through something mean you can’t have support. Every relationship goes through rough patches, but feeling that you have a support system around you can make things a lot easier to deal with.
Be open to the idea that you both will change and stay curious about who you become together. We often say you will grow together, but what can get missed is that you need to grow period. So even if you grow apart you need to embrace that you will change over time. Change although terrifying is fantastic for relationships.
It’s okay not to be great at marriage just because you feel ready to be married. No shame in honoring you will have to learn how to communicate, how to support each other deeply, and how to build a life together.
Do you want to win or do you want to be in a relationship? Some days you simply can not have both happen, when you are focused on winning you often lose track of how to reconnect with your partner.
Don’t stop dating. This is one of the most important things to remember, as it’s not just about date nights, but the consistent want and need to learn more about each other.
Surprise yourself with how thoughtful you can be. Tap into your partner’s love language by remembering the small stuff, it will make a huge difference to your day-to-day life.
You are still a whole person, you and your partner can have the best relationship and not do everything together. So if they don’t want to go to something, within reason, go anyway.
Know your triggers and be open about talking about them. It isn’t fair to assume that your partner automatically knows these things! Even if it means opening up about previous relationships, this information can help your partner tailor the relationship to your needs more easily.
Chat about your parenting styles, whether you’re parenting now or if you plan to have kids in the future. Ask yourself “What was I restricted or limited in doing as a kid?”, as this can help you talk about what might come up for you when parenting together.
Say “I love you” often. Even if after a tiff or a silly little argument, it’s a pleasant and grounding reminder no matter the circumstances.
Openly chat about your savings plans, and be open to budgeting as a team. When you’re newly married, no one wants to talk about money (especially if you’re just past the wedding budgeting!) but it’s important to be on the same page about your future financial goals from the outset.
Take steps to solidify a healthy sex life! In the throes of newlywed life, you’re probably pretty content with your sex life. To maintain this healthy sexual spark for the future, be open to channeling that kinky energy whenever you can!
Frequently Asked Questions
What do you write on a wedding advice card?
When you’re the wedding guest, it can be difficult to know what to say on the card! If you’re giving out advice, why not try “be kind to each other and be kind to yourself”? Or “Embrace stepping out of your comfort zone from time to time.”What advice do you give a bride on her wedding day?
With the buzz of wedding jitters in the air, it’s good practice to have a few pieces of advice in your back pocket to give out to the bride when needed. Some examples include “Trust your gut, don’t lose sight of yourself in the excitement of it all!” or “A perfect marriage is not perfect all the time (and that’s okay!”
