When Do Men Mature? The Mystery Solved
Maturity in males is a long-discussed and debated topic, especially regarding their behavior in adult relationships.
With the state of the dating landscape, men are often heralded as the culprit for new-age ‘bad behavior’, with everything from ghosting to breadcrumbing on the table. While this behavior certainly isn’t gendered, the question of maturity naturally comes into play.
So, when do men mature? It’s not all about growing up and getting a ‘real job’ or relinquishing their obsession with video games, fast food, or their cartoon bedspread. It’s about finding an emotionally mature man ready to commit to a genuine adult relationship.
“It’s important to remind yourself that maturity is a ‘bare minimum’ responsibility for adult humans,” says Laura Caruso, licensed therapist and relationship expert.
“While the occasional act of immaturity may be excused—we’re human, after all—consistent patterns of immaturity may indicate a deeper issue that should not fall on the partner of the immature adult. Remember: it is not your job to teach an adult man how to function, and you deserve a partner who will match your level of emotional intelligence and drive for self-improvement.”
Therefore, if you’re wondering when your partner will ever reach emotional maturity, or if you can be sure they have already, you’ve come to the right place.
What is the age of maturity in males?
If you’re waiting for an emotionally immature man to grow up… you could be waiting a while.
Emotional maturity varies significantly for all individuals, as it’s affected by life experiences, relationships, and personal growth efforts. Some researchers even go as far as to argue that emotional maturity is a lifelong process rather than a fixed endpoint.
At what age do men fully physically mature?
Studies show that the average man typically reaches full physical maturity in their mid-20s. While puberty usually takes place in their earlier teenage years, this development continues into early adulthood.
As has become famous on social media, there is also the development of the ‘frontal lobe’ to consider. According to research, brain development continues until around age 25, with your maturity level tied to the growth of your prefrontal cortex.
Then on a more physical level, bone density and muscle mass usually peak in the late 20s to early 30s—so it really does take a while until you’re fully grown up!
At what age do men fully emotionally mature?
While this may seem complex enough, emotional maturity is much harder to gauge as it varies significantly between individuals.
The study that sent shockwaves through the media was led by Nickelodeon UK, which stated that men reached emotional maturity at the age of 43. According to their data, this was a whopping 11 years after females were considered to be emotionally mature.
These findings were backed up by various other studies, that confirmed male emotional stability continues to change and develop into the 30s and beyond. If you’re sitting next to a man who still finds burping, farting, practical jokes hilarious—you might believe it.
However, emotional maturity isn’t so surface level. It’s about self-awareness, the ability to make important decisions, and the desire to maintain healthy relationships.
How to tell if a guy is mature?
Mature people are easy to spot, as they usually display clear signs of emotional maturity in their everyday lives.
This doesn’t mean that they suddenly lose their ability to be silly, or their desire to whip out crazy dance moves from time to time! It just means that they are capable of the actions and emotions that are required in healthy adult relationships.
“Maturity is often discussed in the context of relationships, where emotional readiness can significantly impact the dynamics between partners,” says Caruso.
“Emotional readiness directly influences how people communicate, handle conflicts, and support each other’s growth. In relationships, maturity manifests through various behaviors and attitudes that reflect a person’s ability to manage emotions, empathize with their partner, and navigate challenges constructively.”
Basically, they can still be the silly, goofy guy you fell in love with, but they know how to step up to the plate when necessary. (So you’re able to rely on them!)
According to Caruso, these are some signs a man is emotionally mature
He can communicate effectively, clearly express his thoughts and feelings, and actively listens.
He shows empathy, recognizing and valuing his partner’s emotions and perspectives.
He can validate and support his partner’s emotions without trying to “fix” them.
He actively pursues a deeper emotional connection and communicates his intentions.
He approaches conflict with a problem-solving mindset, prioritizing resolution and understanding over winning an argument.
He takes responsibility for his actions and their impact on the relationship.
He is dependable, follows through on his commitments, and maintains a sense of accountability.
He demonstrates self-awareness by reflecting on his behavior, acknowledging areas for personal growth, and actively working towards becoming a better partner.
He respects his partner’s boundaries and supports their individuality.
He understands the importance of mutual support and growth.
How does male immaturity affect relationships?
Dealing with immature people can be incredibly draining, especially if in a relationship.
Relationship advice around this topic usually means brushing off these maturity failings and making up for them by carrying the weight yourself. However, this isn’t high school anymore, and while we might gently tease the men who can only cook simple meals, have a loud exhaust, or can’t do their own washing—there’s a much deeper issue at hand.
Consistent immaturity, especially if you’re mature, can begin to feel like you’re dating a child rather than an adult. Remember, you’re meant to be in a reciprocal adult relationship, you’re not babysitting!
Signs a man is emotionally immature
Immature men may struggle to express their thoughts and emotions clearly or constructively. They might resort to passive-aggressive behavior, stonewalling, or avoiding difficult conversations altogether. This can lead to misunderstandings, unresolved conflicts, and a lack of emotional intimacy.
Immature behavior often includes acting on impulse without considering the consequences, failing to follow through on commitments, or neglecting responsibilities. This unpredictability can create instability and frustration, eroding trust and reliability in the relationship.
Rather than addressing issues head-on, an immature man might avoid conflicts or deflect blame, refusing to acknowledge or work through problems. This avoidance can allow small issues to fester and grow, eventually leading to larger, more damaging disputes.
Immature individuals may lack empathy or struggle to understand or value their partner’s feelings and perspectives, focusing primarily on their own needs and desires. This egocentric behavior can lead to feelings of neglect and emotional disconnect, making the partner feel undervalued and unsupported.
Immaturity is often marked by mood swings, emotional outbursts, or an inability to manage stress and frustration effectively. Emotional volatility can create a tense and unpredictable environment, causing the partner to feel unsafe or constantly on edge.
Immature men often avoid accountability for their actions and, instead, place blame on others or on external factors. This lack of accountability can hinder personal and relational growth, creating a cycle of repeated issues and frustrations.
Will an emotionally immature man ever change?
If your man looks more like the second list than the first, it can feel very disheartening. However, just because he’s showing signs of immaturity, doesn’t mean it has to stay that way.
“Definitely!” says Caruso.
“Change requires a combination of self-awareness, willingness, and effort. The first step towards change is recognizing and acknowledging emotional immaturity.”
While no man wants to shout about their own immaturity levels, it all starts with the realization that it’s time to grow up. This doesn’t mean putting on a business suit and calling it a day, it’s about being open-minded and receptive to growth.
This will naturally facilitate a path toward maturity that’s sustainable, with a healthy relationship naturally evolving in this process.
“A genuine desire to grow and improve creates the foundation for change,” says Caruso. “Without his willingness, efforts to change may be superficial and short-lived. Openness to constructive feedback from partners, friends, or professionals is also essential in recognizing blind spots and areas needing improvement.”
Even though men are known to mature more slowly than men, it’s far from a specifically gendered debate. Emotional intelligence, awareness, and maturity don’t grow on trees, and it takes consistent effort and work to be the best ‘adults’ we can be.
We all might wish for an ‘adulting’ crash course, but with the right amount of effort, it’s possible to find the mature man of your dreams in your high school sweetheart! Great things take time.
“Working through immaturity in a relationship requires patience, communication, and mutual effort,” says Caruso.
“Have honest and non-confrontational conversations about specific behaviors and how they affect the relationship. Establish mutual expectations for behavior, communication, and conflict resolution.”
